Its Quicksand


The sun is shinning through the window causing me, a 15 years old to crack one eye open. Like most days, a young person would like just to stay in bed . But not here, not today. It time to get my day started. What kind of fun can I find outside today? Its a nice day outside. A light jacket, some water in my thermos and off in the woods to find the unseen. I watch the birds and squirrels play. It is so quite and peaceful. No I am not hunting. no gun, no slingshot, just me and the woods.
After a while I can hear my sister Allene called my name. She is wanting to hang out and ride Bikes. She is a beauty and also very strong-willed. After riding for a while we meet up with my brother Will at the creek down the road. Will is our older brother. He has been crippled in his left leg since he was 2 years old. He has Polio. He is very strong and liked to fish and gig frogs.
Now the gang shows up. The gang is others that live close by. There is Chris, Doug, Jerry, Tonya and Carla and us three. They must have been told to meet there and I am not glad that they are there. Most times when we all get together it’s because someone wants or plans to do something stupid.
Today they are ready to go find trouble. Get some beer or buy some weed. This is not turning out to be a good day. After some discussion and arguing I was told to go away if I did not want to do what they wanted to do.
The rest of the day seamed like it took forever to go by. I am 15 and am so worried about Will and Cindy. What are they doing? Every time that I saw them that day they were mean and fussing at me for not doing what they wanted to do.  I held my ground but it hurt.  It hurt because I knew if I told on everyone I would be physically by the group.
As darkness came that afternoon I stayed inside the house not wanting to hear or see anyone or to know what they were up to.
Will and Allene come home. They do not and will not speak to me.
Mom and Dad told us that they were going off with and would be back tomorrow.
It is dark, my parents are gone so I when bike riding as I always do every night. Will and Allene went out of the house not to be seen for a few hours.  Soon I ran into them. They are with the gang. They are all high from smoking weed. They offered me some but I said no. I just did not feel good about this.  I found myself following them trying to keep up with what they were doing. Why did I even care! This is their problem. It would soon turn into my problem.
Just as I had guessed , the night got worse. The group ended up in our house. If you remember, our parents went off for the night. In the living room is where they ended up. They sat there talking trash and smoking pot. I stayed in the kitchen most of the time with the door shut. I went in there a few times to see what was going on and after asking me  12 million times to take a hit, I did.  I was so weak and stupid. I thought of a way to get them out the house. I told them that I that I needed to vacuum the carpet and to do that , they would have to leave. But they only went to my bedroom.
As I was cleaning the carpet I looked up and saw something that I will never forget. Will was in the hallway and had a shotgun. He was moving to my bedroom. It was then that I heard the blast. The gun went off. Everyone was screaming and running out of the house. I could not think of what to do. I ran to my bedroom and there was Doug, Shot in the chest and dead. I felt like I was in quicksand. Our lives have just turned upside down and spinning. A family had just lost a son. What are we to do? What will my parents think and do. All of this just to get wasted. I am a part of this. This is on my shoulders.  I could have and should have put a stop to this. But its to late The quicksand has taken over my life. It would be a very long time before someone gave me a rope and pulled me out.

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